NPR just told me that the new I Pad III is out today and one of the features is faster connectivity. Ummmmm. I presently have immediate and unlimited access to a wealth of information and non. (non? = stuff you don't really need to know but somehow want to know) On a whim, I can wonder about the time I went to see Chorus Line, 30 years ago, and ask, “Who was the 3rd girl from the left in the original Broadway performance?” With a few clicks, my magic technology will tell me the answer.
The only “faster” to immediate, is for the I Pad III to give me information before I know I need or want it. I picture the little rectangular glow waddling over and tapping me on the leg and saying, “Excuse me, but in 10 minutes you are going to wonder what the average Memphis temperature for June is and so I thought I would just go ahead and look that up for you. It is 88.5 degrees.”
I don’t know about you, but that is one upgrade I am not prepared to deal with spiritually. I don’t want anything with welded parts telling me what I am going to think. The I Pad III is obviously from the devil and so, for religious reasons, I have given it up for Lent, Hanukah and Syttende mai .
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I was all "Cool!" until the screen grew legs and became self-aware. Now I'm kind of skeeved out. How could one ever get another good night's sleep? What if the thing watches you in the night? And not in a sweet protective way.
ReplyDelete(Somewhere I have a couple of photos from the night of "Chorus Line". If I can find them, I'll share.)